Assessment of Governor Bob Riley
More than 5,000 years ago, Moses was told to pick up his shovels,
pass his asses, get on your camels, and go to the Promised Land. Moses has
been the subject of many Sunday School lessons since then.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt (FDR) announced that we have arrived
at the Promised Land. Throw down your shovels, light up a camel, unpack
your asses, our Great Society is the Promised Land. FDR's Sunday School
Lesson was to teach us to rob from the rich to help the poor. Welcome to
welfare, our promises are greater than what Moses could have visualized.
Bob Riley in his pep talks has promised to move this state forward
to new heights in the Promised Land. In order to get there, his vision
requires a shovel full of taxes, raising the price of camels, and he has
kicked our asses. Furthermore, he was allowed the works of Moses to be
removed from the Alabama Capital. Bob Riley has improved on the FDR Robin
Hood approach and in his Sunday School Lesson has explained that his tax
programs are "The Christian thing to do." Riley is such a good salesman
that many believe him too. If you are a progressive visionary, see the
need for a new constitution, you need to send in a donation to the Bob
Riley Campaign for Governor. Catch the vision for more taxes, bigger and
better government programs, more money for schools, and get this state
moving again.

Dear Abby,
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the very
beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse,
everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, he's been out
of work for the past four years and has not looked for a new job since.
All he does is smoke cigars, and cruise around with his pals, while I have
to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he does
not even pretend to like me...and hints that I am a lesbian.
What should I do?
Signed,
Clueless
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Dear Clueless,
Grow up and dump him. For Pete's sake, you don't need him
anymore....You're a United States Senator from New York, act like one.
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