Assessment of Governor Bob Riley

More than 5,000 years ago, Moses was told to pick up his shovels, pass his asses, get on your camels, and go to the Promised Land. Moses has been the subject of many Sunday School lessons since then.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt (FDR) announced that we have arrived at the Promised Land. Throw down your shovels, light up a camel, unpack your asses, our Great Society is the Promised Land. FDR's Sunday School Lesson was to teach us to rob from the rich to help the poor. Welcome to welfare, our promises are greater than what Moses could have visualized.

Bob Riley in his pep talks has promised to move this state forward to new heights in the Promised Land. In order to get there, his vision requires a shovel full of taxes, raising the price of camels, and he has kicked our asses. Furthermore, he was allowed the works of Moses to be removed from the Alabama Capital. Bob Riley has improved on the FDR Robin Hood approach and in his Sunday School Lesson has explained that his tax programs are "The Christian thing to do." Riley is such a good salesman that many believe him too. If you are a progressive visionary, see the need for a new constitution, you need to send in a donation to the Bob Riley Campaign for Governor. Catch the vision for more taxes, bigger and better government programs, more money for schools, and get this state moving again.

Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the very beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, he's been out of work for the past four years and has not looked for a new job since. All he does is smoke cigars, and cruise around with his pals, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he does not even pretend to like me...and hints that I am a lesbian.

What should I do?

Signed,
Clueless

-----------------------------------------------

Dear Clueless,

Grow up and dump him. For Pete's sake, you don't need him anymore....You're a United States Senator from New York, act like one.